As we were entering the car park my Aunt exclaimed, “Oh we
should have brought your Grandma!” This was a bit strange, as the rough terrain
didn’t particularly spring to mind as suitable for an eighty-something year
old. I looked up ahead however and noticed
a disabled sign and I realised exactly what my Aunt had been thinking. My Grandma was not wanted for her wit, charm
or physical dexterity (ahem) but rather for her bright blue disabled
badge. Never mind we thought as trudged
from the far end of the field dubbing as a car park to the entrance tent. We’ll walk if we have too. At least it’s not raining.
The County Show is a fun affair. Not to be too stereotypical, but for the men
there is a beer tent and for the women there are shops (and lots of them). For me the show is pretty much the same every
year. I wander round pleading with my
family to me buy jodhpurs (we don’t have a horse), new wellies (I don’t
remember the last time I wore wellies and I’m pretty certain my feet
unfortunately stopped growing when I was 14) and a dog (well who can resist those
puppy eyes looking up at you). Once I’ve
finished with the shopping and a spot o’ lunch I find the animals (luckily the
ones not for sale) and watch a few shows.
The first show I saw was the ‘sheep show’. Essentially a Kiwi man spends half an hour
making innuendos about sheep. “Don’t take a picture know, it’s not a good
angle”, he says as he mounts a sheep (to be sheared of course, he wasn’t just
mounting… you get it). His jokes
sometimes made you cringe, “ladies I’ll pay
you 50p if you let me give you a Brazilian [wax]”, but he certainly made a
show that really only involved clapping when you saw a sheep, a lot more
entertaining.
The other show I saw was of the Royal Signals White
Helmets. I knew very little about them
before I was dragged away from the shops. I thought I was in for some old
people parading around on old motorbikes.
I was much mistaken though as the White Helmets are members of the army
who spend three or four years training to do stunt driving. Apparently ‘the team performs spectacular
feats of balance, death defying cross over rides and outstanding acrobatics’
according to the Army website. In other
words they have some fun on motorbikes and they occasionally look a bit wobbly
whilst the commentator reminded us that “they could die” doing these
stunts. It was actually a lot better
than I had anticipated and I would definitely recommend you go and see them
next year.
The most notable thing about the show however were the
conversations I overheard. Apart from
the usual “But Darling we must spend £100,000 on a tractor and no it doesn’t
matter that a) I don’t know how to drive one and b) I don’t have a field” from
the middle-class Bucks parents. There
was a brilliant conversation between two mothers, “Doreen, where’s Doreen? Has
anyone seen Doreen?” and an equally great remark from a mother saying, “I haven’t
heard about many lost children over the Tannoy this year. It only seems to be lost grandparents!”
It seems we made the right decision in not bringing my
Grandma. The Bucks County Show is a
highly enjoyable event but perhaps next year leave the Grandparents at home
(even if they get in cheaper) or maybe keep hold of their hand and let the kids
run wild and free instead.
No comments:
Post a Comment