Here is the world's most dullest blog post...
Whilst deciding what to write about, I looked out of the window to see blue skies. About ten minutes earlier it had been pissing it down so much so that it prompted me to tell everyone. Now don’t start thinking that I’m a weirdo that goes around the house saying, “Ooh look, it’s raining”. No, I am much more interesting that. My conversation with my cousin went like this, “What have you done to the weather?” She looked at me before wandering off ignoring me. Okay so I am a weather weirdo but we all are aren’t we? It’s a British thing…
It may be British, but that doesn’t make it right. I find myself when the conversation stops to comment on the weather, “It’s rather chilly isn’t it” or “I’m really not enjoying this heat”. This never works. I never magically re-evoke a thrilling conversation. In fact it normally results in people looking at me, vaguely agreeing with my comment and then walking off, because in fact what they are thinking is, ‘Of course I don’t like the fact that it is raining because you and I are both stood in the rain getting absolutely soaked you twerp!’
I still do it though, all the time and it is beginning to annoy me. I hear myself and want to shrink into a ball as soon as the words have left my mouth. So why do I do it? Why do any of us do it? Are our conversations in Britain so dull that they only thing we have in common is that fact that it is so cold you can see my nipples through my shirt today.
I don’t actually have the answer but I do have a solution. From now on, I am going to wear a random hat or bowtie or boxers on my head. I am going to wear something that will undoubtedly provide a conversation starter that is not weather related.
It won’t work though, we are all too British and even if I walked around naked no one would bat an eyelid.