Amber was a bright young girl, not that she would ever admit it. In fact she'd go so far as call herself stupid. She used to have such a bright outlook on life but after a while when life threw yet another shit in her path, she just gave up. She let pessimism take charge. That way she could control the darkness that became her life.
Florence on the other hand. Oh Florence. She had been handed the worst deck of cards imaginable with loosing her mum last year being just the tip of the iceberg. She got pregnant just two short weeks before her mum died. She never knew thank God, that would have truly - well if she wasn't already going to die - it would have killed her. She didn't tell her dad either. It would have hurt him so much and Florence couldn't do that. She had an abortion almost as soon as she found out. Her BFF Amelia was there to hold her hand. It was horrible. All Florence could think about was her mum. How horrible it was to lose her, and yet how grateful she was that she would never know the stupid thing she'd done. Yes she did think the unthinkable. Everyday. What's worse is that she believed it. Her getting pregnant was the reason for her mum's death. Maybe not directly but indirectly for sure. It was karma and everyone knows karma's a bitch. The thing is, all that stuff, the death, the baby, it's all in the past. There was nothing Florence could do about it. That is why Florence is bubbly, courageous, smart, funny and loveable. Everything Amber is seemingly not. If this were a rom-com, they'd be hooking-up right about now. This however, is a different story.
Florence and Amber were never meant to meet. Yes they went to the same school and yes they knew of each other, but they were in different years and to be honest they were very different people, possibly too different. That didn't stop them from meeting though.
Florence had rushed out of class to get an early lunch. It might have been against the school rules but to be frank, she was in year 13 now and could do what the hell she liked and besides she was the most popular girl in school. Everybody loved her, including the teachers. It had been a year since her mum died but she still felt everybody's eyes watching her as she entered the room. Alone. It could have been her popularity but Florence knew that look, that one of admiration and well, lust after a life they would probably never have. This was a different look. A look of pity and of guilt. A look that made Florence want to curl up into a ball and cry. She didn't though. She wanted lunch. God she was hungry. Jacket potato or pasta? Jacket potato or... She could hear the murmurs of hungry pupils behind her and choose the pasta - no sauce, just cheese. She wasn't going to eat it anyway - not properly.
Then it happened. That thing that everyone dreads, like standing up in front of the school in your underwear but louder, much louder. She had dropped her tray. As if in slow motion it jumped out of her hands and smashed onto the floor sending pasta and cheese catapulting across the room. Her first response was to cry. To sink to the floor and bawl. She knew that wasn't the answer though. She wanted and needed to laugh. To make a joke of it with her friends. Where was Amelia or Holly at a time like this? In that split second, she decided on her response. She laughed, she pointed and she made fun... of herself.
"Oh my God, did you see what I just did? Look, everybody, look. I'm such an idiot."
She'd done it. People were laughing at her because she had made them. She had made people laugh. She continued.
"It's like I rubbed oil all over my hands and it just slipped right out of them."
People started to look. Some continued laughing, but mostly people looked bemused. Florence kept talking.
"I haven't actually rubbed oil on my hands. That was a joke. Well I mean obviously it was a joke. Why aren't you laughing? Come on, it was a joke, who would rub- I've gone too far haven't I?"
She turned to the girl standing next to her and grabbed her arm.
"I've gone too far. I should really stop. It's just so funny though! Sorry. I'll let go."
Amber was one of the bemused ones and now was one of the scared ones. All Amber wanted to do was laugh but in a weird way, in amongst all of the drama, there was still a school hierarchy, and she didn't know if she was allowed to laugh...
That was the first time Amber and Florence met. It seemed insignificant at the time. They went their separate ways. Ten years later however, they still remember that day. It was one of those clichéd moments where they can say 'that's where it all began'. That was the day when Florence and the Douch was born. It was the start of their double act. They performed that lunchtime sketch for most of their career - although they added some guns and the mafia to spice it up a bit.